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Choosing to Remember; Half a Century

20 Apr

Today, I remember.
Here it is.
I am half a century old today.

When I turned 45 I lost my mother, my son, farmer was diagnosed with cancer and we lost a nephew.  

Here I am 5, years later. 

I really can not count for these 5 years.
I mark them by, a year since mom died; 2  years since Elijah’s been gone.
Now it will be 5 years.

I also mark time by counting God’s faithfulness:
Remember when our wood sheds were filled for the entire winter, and then my farmer was diagnosed with cancer?
Remember when the ache of missing was so great and someone sent us away overnight.
Remember when the barns came down and God built a new one. (a post for another time!)

The Israelites were told to mark the place where they had been.
To lay 12 stones; one for each of the tribes.



Joshua 4:6
When your children ask in time to come, ‘What do those stones mean to you?’ 7 then you shall tell them that the waters of the Jordan were cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord. When it passed over the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. So these stones shall be to the people of Israel a memorial forever.”

God wanted them to remember His faithfulness for generations.

Samuel, after they had pursued the Philistines set a stone on the ground.
He did this to remind him of how the LORD had helped him.
He named that stone Ebenezer.

I Samuel 7:12

Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen.
He named it Ebenezer, saying, “Thus far the LORD has helped us.”

The stone was set as a reminder of the goodness of God.
A reminder of God’s faithfulness through the trial.
A promise that he will always be with us.

A well loved Hymn reminds us:

Here I raise my Ebenezer, Hither by thy help I come. . . .

Oh, to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be;
Let that grace now like a fetter
Bind my wandering heart to Thee:
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it;
Prone to leave the God I love.
Here’s my heart, oh, take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

I do not think Charles Dickens haphazardly named his character Ebenezer in his famous works, A Christmas Carol”.
(What a great writing assignment)

As I turn this mile marker age, I want to raise my Ebenezer.
I want to set in the ground a marker to remember God’s faithfulness in the some of the most difficult days in my life.
May I remember His unwavering love and unmatchless grace.

50 is fabulous.
God has never left my side.
He has held me when I could barely breathe.
He has slowly and purposefully guided my every step closer and closer to His goodness.
With out fail He has set my feet on solid ground.
The Ancient Word has ministered to the burning ache in my heart.

He has taught me to Praise Him when words fail me.
He has turned my face upward when darkness threatened to pull me under.
He has placed a song in my heart and a desire to know him more and more.

Each day he draws me unto himself.
He is teaching the inner places in my heart to trust him; even when it seems that my world is falling apart.

I’m looking forward to the next years of my life; how ever long they may be.
May God guide each step according to His purposes.
I pray that His unending joy fill me each step of the way.

I hope that each one of you can set your stone, your marker in the ground and recognize God’s faithfulness throughout your life.
May you raise your Ebenezer, your stone of help,  in gratefulness for what He has done.

One of my favorite arrangements of this song.
David Crowder
Come Thou Font

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faith, farm family, Farm life, grief, living by faith, trusting in God

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