I reach into the pile.
I pull out his shooting shirt.
It is nice and white.
I smile.
He’s playing so well this year.
A place for him to burn off steam.
It’s been such a hard year.
The number catches me off guard.
#6
Wait. . . he’s #10.
I am reminded one brother wears the shirt of the other.
A number now retired in memory of one so young.
A jersey signed by all his team mates.
My heart aches.
This journey day to day can get heavy.
Thoughts and memories swirl.
The loss of a child never leaves you.
Your heart is never the same.
Life is forever altered.
I close my eyes and I can see his face.
I hear his laughter echo in my mind.
While I try to move forward each day the reminders are always there.
I hold the shirt to my face.
My #10 wears his brother’s shirt.
He proudly where’s the #6 under his #10.
For a moment I hold in my hand my boys together.
How I miss that.
My boys.
We are approaching another graduation.
I struggle to stay in the present.
To live in this moment.
My mind wanders to another graduation.
The final days of my boys life and I didn’t know it.
Yet, the sweet and tender mercies given to us in that time.
How everything shines in technicolor from those days.
Such vivid memories.
All the excitement.
A new journey.
We all struggle with trying to remain in the moment.
To be present and grateful for here and now.
Each of us carry the weight of our trials.
I fold the shirt.
I place it in the pile.
He will wear this shirt today at his game.
He will put it on.
No one will know that under his #10 he wears a #6.
Each day we clothe our selves with virtue.
Whether you ascribe to a moral code or not.
Choices are made.
Armour placed.
I choose this day to serve the Lord.
This day I choose to lay my heart before the LORD.
He will take the broken pieces and hold them together.
I will plant my feet on solid ground.
It is by his grace I will walk through another graduation.
My eyes will search for truth.
I will remember His faithfulness and His promises.
By his grace I will remain present in all that is taking place.
What will your armor be today?
Ephesians 6:11
Put on the full armor of God,
so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.
