It is a song played during communion.
I recognize it right away.
The memory swept out from the dark corner.
I close my eyes and I am there.
Listening to the praise video the kids listened to.
Praying for their little souls.
My heart constricts with the memories.
The music continues on.
My heart constricts with the memories.
The music continues on.
“I lay all of my burdens down at your feet.”
Oh how I miss my son.
“And anytime, I don’t know, what to do. I will Cast all my cares Upon You.”
Years of praying for my children.
A desire to see them grow.
Bend their knee to the One who gave us life.
I squeeze my eyes shut.
To the pain.
The song continues.
I let go.
I let myself remember.
I can’t change what has happened.
I thank God for those times.
Even now.
For we don’t know, any of us, how long we have.
And it’s the here and now that counts.
I am thankful for:
Coffee; hot or cold
New furniture and a fresh coat of paint
my family and their willingness to step forward each day on the path God has placed us
a warm house
Netflix- we don’t have cable and Netflix is such a wonderful thing
the wind blowing through the windows of our home-reminding me how cold it really is outside
no heat upstairs which drives the kids downstairs, which allows us to spend more time together
my farmer and his time spent away with the farmer junior
the therapy of cooking
a clothesline and the fresh, clean scent of clothes air dried
the money I save by not running the dryer
Coffee; hot or cold
New furniture and a fresh coat of paint
my family and their willingness to step forward each day on the path God has placed us
a warm house
Netflix- we don’t have cable and Netflix is such a wonderful thing
the wind blowing through the windows of our home-reminding me how cold it really is outside
no heat upstairs which drives the kids downstairs, which allows us to spend more time together
my farmer and his time spent away with the farmer junior
the therapy of cooking
a clothesline and the fresh, clean scent of clothes air dried
the money I save by not running the dryer
I am thankful for this journey of Thankfulness. It turns my heart around every time. By day 3, the inward focus I have stepped into begins to lighten. I find myself throughout the day trying to be thankful for even the hard things. Trying to be open to the lessons available. Each day we have a choice. We can be miserable, affected by our circumstances and become bitter and unfulfilled. Or we can surrender, step into gratitude and become all that God wants us to. But, it’s a choice. Our circumstances are not going to change. They are going to remain; and may even become worse. But our lives can reflect grace and mercy if we cultivate a thankful heart.
I pray that you will join me on this journey. Leave a note in the comments and share how you are blessed through this process.
I am grateful for the video of my son’s Senior Testimony. I share it with you again because each time I listen to it I am reminded that God knew what was going to happen. This was a gift to all of us. This is grace and mercy. None of which I deserve, but that which I am grateful to receive.
