We stand in line.
I fuss, I fume.
The event already started.
And we’re outside.
I complain.
I question why I’ve come.
I wonder why they don’t have a better system.
Many thoughts run through my head.
It is not until I am home.
Until it is late at night that I process this.
I missed out on so many blessings because I stepped into anxiety.
Instead of using the beautiful gift of gratitude
I jumped off the cliff into dangerous water.
I let frustration and other emotions crowd out the blessings of the evening.
This life is a journey.
We will make mistakes and shake our head at our foolishness.
This morning I am shaking off what was.
And stepping into what hasn’t been.
(really I am shaking off a late night and drinking lots of coffee)
I want this walk of gratitude to change me.
I am Thankful For:
An anxiety filled night so lessons may be learned
My farmer and family taking the night off to see a concert
Learning that my farmer’s last concert with Elijah was seeing Cast Crowns
the 10 year old farm girl singing the words to every song –
even as she is falling asleep in my arms
spending time with my SIL- both deeply grieving the loss of our sons
quiet mornings to process the journey
Reminders that even though I mess up- I am forgiven
that as far as the East is from the West –
so far has he removed my transgressions
a new day dawning
10,000 reasons to sing
A niece that lifts her hands to worship – I am learning much from her
unending grace
coffee therapy
I would love a do-over of last night.
Actually, there are many nights I’d like a do over.
One in particular.
While that’s not possible.
Changing my heart is.
It’s not easy.
Be thankful in all circumstances takes work.
So today I will attempt to fill those anxious moments with thanks.
How is your Gratitude walk going?
I share the trait of impatience when my intention is thwarted by what I think of as others' shortcomings. But I do remind myself that the same trait means that I show up early or on time for appointments, which shows respect for the other party; that I prepare for a dinner I'm sharing with planning backwards so the last things needed are not sacrificed by my failure to manage my time; that I helped my children learn to manage their time with funny little paper and pencil timeline schedules in order to meet goals, and respect the time of others. It doesn't forgive the scorn I feel at times, but it does mean I can focus on using the trait for good rather than 'evil'.
But sometimes. . . things go wrong. . that are outside of our control. That is when we learn grace. .yes?
Very thoughtful article.
Thanks for sharing.!