I’ve heard it twice. Each time a little different. But I heard it. And when God says something twice you need to stand up and take notice. The first time I heard it. It brought me to my knees. The conviction great. The torment real. The wrestling match begun.
The people of Egypt were willing to go back to the land of slavery: the very land that bound them. Back to the people that enslaved them and treated them cruelly. Rather than head into a new land, the promised land, with God.
It struck me. Am I willing to go into this new journey, unknown to me. . . with God; without Elijah?
Or do I want to go back and have Elijah with me?
These are questions that demand an answer. It will take time. Because in my flesh, I want Elijah back. I long to be with him. He’s my son.
I find it again in a book I am reading. “Moses preferred to go nowhere with God than anywhere without him.” (You’ll Get Through This by Max Lacado.)
He’s said it twice. In two different ways. I need to take notice. I know I prefer to go nowhere with God than anywhere without him.
If I am not going with God. Then I don’t want to go anywhere. Where He is. I will be.
If that means without my son. Then I need to step forward in that. It doesn’t say I have to like it. It doesn’t say that I won’t grieve with every fiber of my being. Because we are human. And grieving is hard work. Grieving your son, your flesh and blood. . . whom you carried for nine months. . . and now, torn from you is agonizing. It’s twisted and hard to sort through. It leaves me raw, tired and spent.
I need to trust. I need to look forward to the future God has planned here.
Do you want to go nowhere with God, than anywhere without him?
I'd rather not think about it, thankyouverymuch. But I will.