In my mind my house is clean and all loose ends tied up.
Different expectations.
But that is rarely the way.
Most of our life is hopping in on the ever loving conveyor belt we call life.
It’s like a perpetual game of jump rope and you need to learn how to jump in on double dutch.
Sometimes its too much and the crazy overwhelms me.
But mostly it just is.
There’s a mess.
Paint cans and scrapers from 2 projects happening when the college girl, now nurse gets a free moment.
There’s jackets, shoes, hats and boots littering the entry way.
Because people live here.
I scroll through Instagram at these gorgeous mudrooms.
I wonder. . . how do they keep them like that?
Our dining room is a virtual revolving door.
There’s copious amounts of coffee consumed around that table.
Plans are hashed out, heart to hearts had and grief worked through in that space.
But we slide piles of paper down to one side or onto a chair to make room.
Because life happens here.
It’s not tidy.
It’s real.
The lighting isn’t always right for great pictures.
The ceiling has water marks because pipes have burst and there’s been time to fix the emergency, but no money to fix the rest.
And it’s into this mess the farmettes come.
I had different expectations.
A clean table.
Hot chocolate waiting on the stove.
Candles lit.
The chocolate chip cookies I made, all nicely set out on at plate.
But as it was, my farmer and I decided to have a quick date to the grocery store.
We desperately needed groceries.
We needed time together.
So we went.
But it took twice as long as it usually takes.
And the farmettes arrive before we do.
I returned to the farm boy having made energy balls to take with him to drill.
The kitchen – a mess.
The ironing board still out from me ironing his Marine Uniform for the ball this weekend.
And none of it the way I wanted.
But.
The farmettes were outside with their mom and the youngest farm girl.
They don’t have snow, so they were so excited.
The oldest came running out to jump in my arms, delighted to be alive.
And the giggles heard, warmed my heart.
It didn’t matter that you could barely walk through the kitchen.
It didn’t matter that I didn’t have a fresh pot of coffee on when my sister in law came to visit.
None of it mattered.
I had different expectations.
So, I let it go.
I enjoyed all the giggles and the memories made.
I laughed at our lengthy grocery date.
The oldest daughter and oldest farmette went to go help Papa with chores.
That oldest daughter so needing a dose of home and her dad.
My heart is full when she sends me this picture.
It reminds me why we do what we do.
I know this time of practicing gratitude is changing my heart.
Ever so slowly.
But changing none the less.
I am thankful for:
hot cocoa and little marshmallows
dinner around the farmhouse table
Laughter and giggles from little farmettes
Pure delight of children in the snow
grocery dates with my farmer
learning how to relax and not be so uptight
shoes that litter the mudroom floor
piles of paper on the farmhouse table
dinner together around that farmhouse table
a night with no Agenda
kids bantering and being silly
coffee visits with my sister and law and the grace she’s been shown and healing of her hands
Cooking for a full house
heat on this cold day
hot coffee in my mug
a cousin who challenges me to think
brothers who make me laugh so hard
the hope we have in Christ, no matter how things are going
May this song minister to your heart today.
Holding on to the hope that frees us
to live the life we are meant to live.
