I want to turn back time, change anything I can.
I yearn for this to not be.
I walk into your room.
I just stand there looking around.
I remember your crib and then your big boy bed.
I remember when Cedric needed to share the room and how angry you were.
I think back to the time Caleb gave you your first Lacrosse stick.
It’s just so not fair.
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous.
Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be
with you wherever you go.”
It is in those hands I want to stay.
I want to know and feel the peace that comes from a life surrendered to the
One who called us into being.
I want to live a life that reflects the glory of His face;
regardless of the circumstances of this world.
We are fearfully and wonderfully made;
For a reason with a purpose.
Oh, how we are loved.
This love given, so we might live.
I look at the picture I took as the night gave way to the dawn, on the morning of Elijah’s home going.
I am still struck by the heart in the sky.
It is the mercy of the One who called Elijah home.
I don’t like this path.
I don’t want it this way.
Yet, I can’t deny that God is in every moment of this painful journey.
And I can’t deny that grace has accompanied us through.
And as I continue to wade through the cloud of grief, I swallow hard, I let the tears flow freely.
Much has been asked of me.
And much I will give.
I will stand strong on the promises.
And when I feel like I am going to fall and I can’t stand any longer I will rely on all those around us. As Aaron and Hur held the arms of their beloved Moses as the battle raged around them, so too will
I lean on the strength of those around me.
Because this journey is wearing me down.
And so I lay it all down.
And I lift my voice in Praise.
Day #22 of Thankfulness
The sweetest of prayer times with 3 saints in the faith
Another saint who came to clean my bathrooms and
I am sure she prayed over every corner of this house
Kisses and snuggles with the 4 week old precious gift
Holding my daughter while she holds her niece-
2 generations in my lap; priceless gift
unexpected dinner delivered to the back door
A gift for Chelsea and Lilah at the front door and a fun conversation about books
A new (to us) refrigerator at the barn for milk, I can hear everyone saying yay
Thank you Becky for loving on us
being able to run to the High School to drop off something for my son-he still needs me
An evening of study in the word