A package came in the mail today.  It was from my cousin Seth.  I haven't seen Seth in years.  But social media reconnected us.  Our Mothers were the closest of friends. Both now gone the way of the earth, through the ravages of cancer.  Reunited where they shall chat without ceasing for all of eternity.  Seth is in the Navy.  He is stationed in South Carolina;  where Elijah would attend boot Camp at Parris Island. When Elijah enlisted in the Marines, I contacted Seth.  I had a list of concerns.  He encouraged me.  He spoke ... View Post

I lay on his bed. The smell of him still there. How long? How long until it evaporates, until I can't distinguish him. The sobs come. Here I am free to pour out all the tears. Why Elijah? Oh how many tears I have shed these 7 weeks. How I long to make sense of this loss. How I yearn to turn back time. I have to be so careful not to be drawn into the abyss of the what if's. I fight with all I have to stay in the "what I know's". Do you ever feel that? Someone sent me this verse. It is one that brings such comfort.  Oh how I love God's word. How wonderful it is to hide it in our ... View Post

Our family made the newspaper once again. This time it was honoring those that have come to cut and split wood. Those that have spent hours of their time on our farm trying to make things a little easier for us.  I was honored and blessed by this article. The reporter listened to what was said. And she wrote it. She didn't compromise.  Or cut the parts of faith out.  You can read the Burlington Free Press article here. There were more teammates here stacking wood. It makes my heart ache a little when I see them.  It is a reminder of what is no ... View Post

It's been 7 weeks without my red headed boy. 7 weeks since we had unexpected visitors. 7 weeks of waking up with the agony of the truth that he is gone. 7 weeks of, how can this be?  I remember everything about the day he left us. Every detail so crisp. . .  The looks. . .Each time Elijah looked at me that day. . .I recall. There are things I want to think about, but can't yet.  It is too raw. Today the farm was visited by more of that wild grace. I can't grasp why so many people. . .busy with mountains of their own tasks, would so freely come here. More wood; ... View Post

Come with me.  Deep into my grief.  Into the place that aches.  Come see where the rough appears.  Feel the loss. It is dark and loud. . .anguish, screams.  The pain is hot and searing. . . The child I birthed lies in the sod. 17 years too short.   I can hear the faint echo of the cadence, yet he doesn't march. . . dreams are stilled. . .the life abruptly ended. But do you see?  Comfort being poured out?  The hope that rises.  Taste and see the quietness of the One who called that life into being.  Who gives breath to ... View Post