Be on the look out.
When your day gets so bogged down in the every day it’s hard to see very far.
A situation we’re dealing with here on the farm didn’t work out so well
My farmer and I were both just searching for why this had to happen.
I felt disillusioned with mankind, betrayed, and beaten down.
I pulled clothes out of drawers to clean to try to process this event.
(I don’t usually like to clean, but this helped)
I dug into the Ancient Word searching for truth and meaning.
Still coming up empty.
Be on the look out.
Maybe sometimes there isn’t an answer.
Sometimes the understanding of an event may never happen this side of eternity.
God’s purpose may simply be to grown us in our understanding of His character.
I want to lash out and scream how unfair this is.
I want to blame people.
I want to wallow in a see of self pity.
(that usually never ends well, though)
I have a choice.
I can continue to let this bother me and let the outcome affect my life.
Or I can surrender and move on.
I continue to clean.
Not only that but I cleared out another bag of stuff.
At my lowest point, the kids all arrived home with their friends.
They were here to practice music.
I walked into this scene.
Oh my heart.
I miss my farm boy so much.
Yet look, see his legacy-Here, in this music room?
Teens.
Making music.
What a gift.
Be on the look out.
Often, when your heart is broken and you feel at your lowest, God places in our path a glimpse of something more.
Something outside of us.
These teens.
They pull me out of my self wallowing.
They make me laugh and smile.
They help me to remember.
God is working a plan.
He’s doing things I can not see.
He’s expecting me to do my work and no other.
So, I dig in.
I seek gratitude.
I stay in the moment and enjoy this group of teens.
I listen as they arrange music and prepare to share their gifts in a few weeks.
I can not control the actions of others.
I can only be responsible for my own.
I am Thankful for:
a house full of teens
the hard that teaches me more about God
choosing ways to be kind
hot coffee
peaceful mornings
music from our music room
an out of tune piano
a chaotic, crazy, messy, home
friends who reach out with prayer and wise words
a life lived in surrender to a God who loves us unconditionally
a farmer who walks this journey with me
the smell of roasting pumpkins
turkey thawing in the fridge
menu planning, pie making
the warmth of a kitchen on a chilly morning
I can’t fix this trial, but I will fix my eyes on the One who can.
I will rest and trust that even in this God will make a way.
