Today is your 18th birthday. We won’t get to celebrate with you. We won’t sing Happy Birthday. There are no presents. I won’t make you an ice cream cake or a cheesecake that you loved so much. Instead there is a gaping hole, and we are left behind. I still can’t believe it. There are a thousand things we haven’t done together. Our family is so incomplete without you. Clarissa has lost her confidant and friend, Cedric, his antagonist and role model, Ana, her rock, Ella, her jungle gym, Chelsea, her bickerer, Lilah, her uncle and Adam, a brother in law. Daddy and I. . . I can’t even put into words what we have lost.
And I know where you are.
I loved your laughed. I loved waking you up each morning and watching you snuggle down. . .not wanting to get up. I loved knowing you were home safe in bed. I loved your sense of humor and sarcasm and lopsided grin.
I want to yell at you for playing x box instead of doing chores, I want to close the door because your drumming is so loud. I want to be distracted 100 times by all the you tube videos you need me to see. I want to see you run up and down the stairs for all the things you forgot. I want to see you dressed to the nines for church. I want to see you pull in the driveway with your car and park so I can’t get in the garage. . .
United States Marine.
Instead we said Good Bye a month ago.
You’re work here complete.
The pain of loss is overwhelming at times.
Until then. . .
I will fix my eyes on the One that longs to heal my broken heart.
I will choose to Praise when I feel weak.
And I will celebrate your birthday with friends.
And we will remember.
I just wish I had had more time. . .
All my love,
Children are a gift from the Lord;
they are a reward from him.