I feel the longing, deep in my soul. I haven't felt that ache in a long time. It is gripping and searing hot. Photos of mom. Mother's Day. A beautiful post by Ann Voskamp. The searing, hot feeling lingers. The tears slip down my cheek. Oh, how I miss my mom. I long to see her. Her last months on this earth were agonizing. The ravages of cancer took her appetite, strength and voice. Yet it never touched her spirit. Confined to a wheel chair do to lack of strength, she stood, with arms raised high to praise our God at her grandsons baptism. Her spirit was a gift. Her ... View Post
Remembering
I had a different post in mind for today. Yet, this one seemed to say more of my thoughts today. Remembering. The journey after losing your mom is quite the dance. It is deep breaths and sunny days. It is prayer and remembering. It is bitter tears and missing. It is all these things. Miss you Mom. Here is a re-post from May 7, 2016. Dear Mom, So many times I have picked up the phone to call. My heart hurts missing Elijah. Yet you reign with him on high. It was April vacation. I missed our time together. It was always so much warmer at your house. Such a perfect time to ... View Post
We Miss, Because We Had Something to Miss
It's been 5 Mother's Days since I've celebrated with my mom. 4 since my son left this earth so suddenly. Both leave an opening. An ache. My brothers and I have been going through photos. Photos that have made us laugh. Say, "what?" And some that have nearly brought me to my knees. Our family pictures are forever changed and events and gatherings always include missing. I'm grateful for the missing though. We had something worth missing. Something so great, that when it's not there, it's missed. I can't change the events of my sons passing. Oh, how I would love to. I ... View Post
What to do with this Mother’s Day Thing
It's Mother's Day. My mom and my mother in law reside with the King of all Kings. And the one who made me a mom lives there too. And I want to cry. I want to scream and throw a tantrum. It's just not fair. I miss my son. I miss my mom. I miss my mother in law. I have much material for a pity party. A real "whoa is me bash." What good is that? What is being accomplished? Jesus himself had much to complain about. He was spit on, bruised and crucified as a common criminal. Yet not once did he utter ... View Post
Dear Mom
Dear Mom, So many times I have picked up the phone to call. My heart hurts missing Elijah. Yet you reign with him on high. It was April vacation. I missed our time together. It was always so much warmer at your house. Such a perfect time to be away. We would sit on your screened in porch. How you loved that addition to your home. We'd drink coffee and argue. Goodness we never could see eye to eye on very much; except our love for our Lord. I went to a family baby shower. Your presence missed so ... View Post
When Mother’s Day Isn’t About Getting What You Want
I say good night to the kids. The farm house is quieting down. I pause, in the doorway to his room, as I do each evening before I head down the stairs. I can't stay for long because the feeling is so overwhelming. I think over the day. Mother's Day; it was so beautiful. We cooked on the grill and ate outside. We talked and felt the warmth of the sun on our faces. It felt good to just enjoy the creation around us. I turn and head down the stairs. The day was not what I expected. At some point I was told I needed to be ready ... View Post
