I wake indifferent. There is danger in apathy. I wage a war continually. If I don't feel then I can't hurt. If I close my eyes tightly against all the pain and struggle I will survive. That is hardly living. There is relief. There is an anecdote. There is a place where peace reigns. Where our feet are firmly planted. To remain in that place is work. There is work in grieving. There is work in surrendering a life to the One who longs to hold you. This work can leave you exhausted and spent. But we will work. We will work to ... View Post
These Words, To Live By
Because He Lives. . I can hear her singing now. I can face tomorrow, Because He lives, All fear is gone. I know the words by heart. She often sang it as cancer's clutches tightened their grip. Because I know who holds the future, And life is worth the living Just because He lives. My mom loved music. She loved all kinds of music. I grew up listening to albums of the Beach Boys, Rhapsody in Blue, The Kingston Trio and even the Smothers Brothers. There was always music coming from that stereo in the ... View Post
Will I Ever Be Whole Again?
I just want off this road. I don't want to live without our son. We invest so much in our kids. We thrill at their successes and mourn at their losses. Our days are ordered around their life as we watch them become all they can be. Our family is a unit. Each with it's unique function; making us whole. Our dream is for them to be all they can be in Christ. We long for them to make this world a better place. To bring change to this hurting world. To be Jesus to the lost. To share hope. And when that dream is dashed; torn from you. We don't feel whole any more. There is ... View Post
A Cup Of Coffee And Some Inspiration
Today grab a cup of coffee. Relax and enjoy some of this weeks inspiration. My cousin's blog is full of inspiration. And a little tease about a new book discussion. A friend I have yet to meet also has grief as her constant companion. Here is her paraphrase of this precious verse. Matthew 5:3-4 You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule. You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you. It's been 13 months ... View Post
2 Mom’s Living On Solid Hope
There is another who grieves. Another mom who celebrates her son's birthday today; while he resides with the King of Kings. Her son torn from this life at 18. Never to see 19. Two young men called home long before our hearts are ready to let go. I think on this. He and Elijah now know each other. Each known by the Savior. Each missed so deeply. When here on this earth our paths may have never crossed. This mom grieves as I do. Brought together by mutual friends; knowing our struggle. Now friends through a shared bond of grief and love for Jesus. Each of us ... View Post
No Matter The Hurt, Or Pain; See. . .He Is Doing A New Thing
I am restless. The pain searing today. The missing overpowering. The unknown of cancer lingering. Will the treatments work? How much more will they affect my farmers body? The future unknown and looming before me. My soul longs for relief. Relief from the constant pain, the constant longing for my son. Longing for family time all together. That which will never be. Sometimes I think my heart will shatter into a million pieces. Other times, I think it already has. This is all too much to bear. The weight is heavy and His burden ... View Post
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