I reach into the pile. I pull out his shooting shirt. It is nice and white. I smile. He's playing so well this year. A place for him to burn off steam. It's been such a hard year. The number catches me off guard. #6 Wait. . . he's #10. I am reminded one brother wears the shirt of the other. A number now retired in memory of one so young. A jersey signed by all his team mates. My heart aches. This journey day to day can get heavy. Thoughts and memories swirl. The loss ... View Post
A weekend Off
Bright sunshine greets the day. New babies. Warmth. Spring. It's finally arrived. The landscape a virtual palette; changing in moments. A gorgeous weekend. A gift. One in which we had off. Technically we have every other weekend off. Lately, each "weekend off," has been full. College visits, travelling. Taxes. Farm issues. But not this weekend. This weekend was a treasure. My farmer stayed close by. Trimming bushes. Raking the lawn. Cutting down ... View Post
I Said, “Yes” To Writing On The Walls
I said it sort of jokingly. I didn't think anything of it. We could write our gratitude on the wall. We are going to paint in here someday. (It hasn't been painted since 1989. . ."ain't nobody got time for that") The walls are filthy and stained with hand prints. Drawings from the kids and those infamous height marks. A legacy of Elijah on the wall. A tangible record of his exsistance here. A reminder. So, we clean up from physical nourishment and the Ancient Word. My farmer hesitates before he leaves. It is not until ... View Post
Will Spring Ever Come?
My farmer and the crew work outside everyday. Sure they can head into the milk house to get warm. Sometimes they work in a tractor that has a cab. Not sure if there is heat in there anymore. But mainly they are out doors. So, I hesitate as I choose my words; Will Spring ever come? The days are getting longer. Light in the early evenings. Yet, the cold lingers. I am not one to be cold. My internal system has always run on the warm side. But this year. . . This year, I can not get warm. And it ... View Post
Stepping Through The Plan I Do Not Understand
I will go to the funeral of a dear friend today. It is also the 19th month Anniversary of our sons home going. With many of the same people, we will celebrate the life of one lived so very well. Through song and prayer we will lift our voices to the heavens. We will remember. Why does the pain of this life become overwhelming? I feel some days that grief is all I know. As my dad succumbs to the memory thief and we need to make decisions about his care my heart feels so weighted. This life ... View Post
Peanut Butter Pie
Peanut Butter Pie. Sometimes it's what we need. A little baking. A plan. Some sunshine. Sometimes, life is not what we expected We can not give in to the despair and sadness. It fights to pull us under. Threatens to undermine our joy. So, make a pie. Spread some sunshine. Do one thing you know you should. And above all else. Give thanks. Psalm 107:1 Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever. Our hope is not in the temporal things of ... View Post
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