He holds my hand. The hand that is still strong. Yet works no more. I look at him. This man that gave me life. This man that has been my confidant, advocate, role model and father. I gaze into his eyes. He's still so handsome. He smiles and kisses me. He's happy. Content. He knows no pain or ache. I say, "Let's walk for a bit." He shuffles. Reminders for him to pick up his feet. I bristle. This once fiercely independent, stubborn man. . . shuffles. I choke back the sobs that ... View Post
Are You Thirsty?
The day is warm. Sunshine streaming through fluffy white clouds. We head to the river. My happy place. We're headed to celebrate; New life. Hope. Promises and Covenants. That sweet next to the youngest farm girl is entering the waters of baptism. She's shaking off the old. Stepping into the new. The life that isn't promised to be easy. The life where knee is bowed and hands lifted high. A life built on truth, hope and certainty. The truth that she has already had to wrestle to the ... View Post
That 10 Year Old Firecracker
Firecracker. That was Nana's nickname for her. She came into this world in a flurry of emergency. A whirlwind. And has remained that to this day. Our baby is double digits. The last baby I carried; held within my womb. A surprise. A gift. But they all were. I was always surprised with the news of "the child within". Awestruck at the beauty and holiness. And now the youngest of these is 10. This wee one that gave me quite a scare 2 weeks ago. Who caused me to fall to my knees ... View Post
When You Measure Life in Months
The 28th has rolled around again. Life is like that. The beat ever steady. Moving forward. Relentless. 22 months have passed. Each day reliving, longing. Trying to shake the words, "There's been an accident." Longing for my boy. Longing for the way things were. Yet, longing to be more like Christ. Yearning to made into His likeness. That my words and actions reflect the deep love He has shown us. And I fall short. My words and actions the very opposite of what they need to be. So, I surrender ... View Post
Lessons From the Coffee Pot
No rich smell of coffee reached my senses as I stumbled through the kitchen. My caffeine deprived system trying to register the day, the mess all at once. That is when my eye sight cleared enough to see. My coffee pot. In pieces. With no rich, aromatic coffee smells emanating from it. No beautiful perking sounds. Just pieces and parts on the counter. I knew this might be happening.I had inside information and I failed to act. Yesterday, it was a 2 pot kind of a day. After 20 years of marriage my farmer ... View Post
The Hope In Good Friday
It is Good Friday. The day we remember. The life that was given. The day He gave all, so we may live. Ann Voskamp in her way says so much. Click on the link to read her words of hope. After a Crash and Burn Year Ann Voskamp Last year we were remembering a dear saint in the faith. One whose home going I still wrestle with. A man of such unwavering faith. So giving. Such an encouragement to us in our raw grief. Such a help to my hurting heart. It's been a year of digging ... View Post