While the night was still dark.
Oh how our hearts ache.
We long for this to be a bad dream.
I want something I can never have.
Each morning I wrestle with the knowledge that Elijah will never come home.
His room, still the same as the day he left.
Some clothes I can’t bear to move.
Sometimes I feel stuck.
Like, if I wait long enough, things will change.
He will come home.
So the struggle becomes the journey.
My soul needs to be recharged.
Refocused.
This is a daily task.
Sometimes moment by moment.
My heart hurts.
My family different.
There will always be a space.
Someone missing.
It will consume and over power me if I let it.
The negative thoughts, the pain.
I breathe deep.
My prayer has become, “show me Lord .”
Psalm 5:8
Lead me, LORD, in your righteousness because of my enemies–
make your way straight before me.
Show me how to live this way.
Show me how what I wanted, wasn’t best for me.
Change my heart.
Show me where my steps should travel.
Place before me the folks I need to touch;
the folks that my soul needs.
God will equip me for the rest of this life’s journey.
I will rest in the hope of a risen Savior.
I will cling to the Ancient Word.
I find peace in the moment.
Psalm 91:11
For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;